After watching people prepare for the holiday season, I felt the need to remind all of you about some things for this holiday season. These are a few reminders that may make Christmas or any holiday easier.
1. You do not need to say yes to everything and everyone. Yes, people may come to you to help with things, but when you say no enough. It is a holiday, and you should enjoy it as much as everyone in your family. Do not be afraid to say no.
2. This year, something that I had to deal with myself was the lack of gifts. If you cannot buy that gift, do not stress over it. Did the person know you were going to get it for them? Do you have the money to buy it? Do not feel guilty because you can't! This year has been crazy, and people are barely making ends meet. If you cannot afford or get the expensive gift, either they understand or are selfish.
3. Remember, being unable to do everything is not bad. Do what makes you and your family comfortable. An example is if Aunt Greta is having a family dinner, but she expects the children to sit at the table and stay there all night. Well, Aunt Greta, my kids are young and do not have the patience to sit for hours in your fancy dining room. We will have to decline respectfully. That's it. No other words have to be said. If Aunt Greta pushes you on the subject, tell her you will not force your children to stay still and follow that rule when it makes them unhappy to be there.
4. If you share custody of your kids, ensure you make plans early with the other parent, and If you need to email or text the final plans to each other, do it. Make sure your expectations are low. That way, you ensure you do not have any anger or surprises. Also, as much as you don't want to try to compromise, save yourself the headache and think about doing it for the holiday and make it clear the compromise on things is ONLY for the holiday.
5. Be ready to have your feelings hurt. No matter what, someone will say or do something to ruffle your feathers or hurt your feelings, no matter how little it may be. Prepare yourself for it, especially if the person is known for being less-than-stellar. Do the smart thing for your mental health and be no contact if it means a better mental place for yourself.
6. Not everyone will want to come see you or want to meet up. Even if you thought they would. If someone says no, do not stress over it. Make other plans and move on.
7. If you have young kids or babies, remember you are not obligated to take them to everyone's house. When my kids were younger, I made it very clear to everyone that they were small and would not drag them to everyone's home. If people want to see my children and us, they can visit us during the day. But please do not be mad if the kids are more interested in their toys or are taking a nap. One of my children's Aunts would nap with them, and they loved her for it.
8. Do not worry about making a large meal for Christmas. Have you been cooking for different events the whole holiday season? Then cook something easy, Such as finger foods, platters of sandwich meats and cheese, or sliders. You do not need to make complicated foods to have a great Christmas. Do something simple and enjoy the holiday.
9. You do not need to decorate your house so it explodes Christmas or whatever holiday you are celebrating. Holidays are about who you're with, not how much you decorate. Remember, the more you put up, the more you need to take down. Also, I say this as a person who loves to decorate but has not had the urge to the last two years due to the space.
10. If you want to binge-watch Christmas shows, read books, or game all day on Christmas, then more power to you. Do what works for you and your family, and do not worry about what others want!
11. You do not need to be around people who do not make you feel good about yourself. Some say that Christmas and the holidays are about family. No, the holidays are about the people who make you feel good about yourself.
12 Moms, do not expect to have a gift under the tree. Same to the Dads. Unless you discuss this with your partner, do not expect the other to buy you a gift or to receive a gift from the kids. Buy yourself something and stick it under the tree from Santa. Also, take your kids to the store and have them buy siblings and parents gifts. Then there should be no hurt feelings.
No matter what you do, I hope you have a wonderful Christmas or Holiday Season!
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